The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.
"Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play.
The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus.
"Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!"
"No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."
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Showing posts with label tiger woods. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tiger woods. Show all posts
Joke 4: Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods
Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a restaurant having dinner.
Woods turns to Wonder and says, "How's the singing career going?"
Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad.How's the golf?"
Woods replies, "Not too bad. I've had some problems with my
swing, but I think I've got that going right now."
Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I
need to stop playing for a while and not think aboutit. Then, the
next time I play, it seems to be all right."
Tiger says,"You play golf?"
Wonder says, "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years."
Woods says, "But you're blind! How can you playgolf if you can't see?"
Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the
fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play
the ball toward him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands,
the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball toward his voice."
"But how do you putt?" asks Woods.
"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of
the hole and call to me with his head on the ground,and I just
play the ball toward his voice."
Woods asks, "What's your handicap?"
Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round
sometime."
Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only
play for money and never play for less than $10,000 a hole."
Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm up for that. When would
you like to play?"
Stevie says, "PICK A NIGHT!!!!"
Woods turns to Wonder and says, "How's the singing career going?"
Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad.How's the golf?"
Woods replies, "Not too bad. I've had some problems with my
swing, but I think I've got that going right now."
Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I
need to stop playing for a while and not think aboutit. Then, the
next time I play, it seems to be all right."
Tiger says,"You play golf?"
Wonder says, "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years."
Woods says, "But you're blind! How can you playgolf if you can't see?"
Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the
fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play
the ball toward him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands,
the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball toward his voice."
"But how do you putt?" asks Woods.
"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of
the hole and call to me with his head on the ground,and I just
play the ball toward his voice."
Woods asks, "What's your handicap?"
Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round
sometime."
Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only
play for money and never play for less than $10,000 a hole."
Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm up for that. When would
you like to play?"
Stevie says, "PICK A NIGHT!!!!"
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