A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving.
Suddenly a man knocks on his window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's happening?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton. They are asking for a $10 million ransom. Otherwise they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"
"About a gallon."
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Showing posts with label hillary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hillary. Show all posts
Joke8: Hillary and the Texan
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, on an airliner bound for Texas, finds herself seated next to an older, weathered man in a western snap shirt, faded jeans, and a cowboy hat. Thinking herself above the old cowboy, she decides to make sport of him.
"You know," she says, "I've heard these flights go much more quickly if you strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger. So, let's talk."
The cowboy looks at her wryly and says, "Well I s'pose that'd be all right, m'am. What'd ya like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," says Hillary with a slight hint of sarcasm.
"How about Iraq?"
"Hmm," says the cowboy, sensing an attempt to perhaps belittle him, "That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first:"Horses, cows, and deer all eat the same stuff--grass. Yet a deer passes little pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse makes muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
Dumbfounded, Senator Clinton replies, "Sir, I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me, then," says the cowboy with a smile. "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss Iraq when you don't know shit?"
"You know," she says, "I've heard these flights go much more quickly if you strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger. So, let's talk."
The cowboy looks at her wryly and says, "Well I s'pose that'd be all right, m'am. What'd ya like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," says Hillary with a slight hint of sarcasm.
"How about Iraq?"
"Hmm," says the cowboy, sensing an attempt to perhaps belittle him, "That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first:"Horses, cows, and deer all eat the same stuff--grass. Yet a deer passes little pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse makes muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
Dumbfounded, Senator Clinton replies, "Sir, I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me, then," says the cowboy with a smile. "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss Iraq when you don't know shit?"
Joke 1:Hillary in School
Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about world affairs.
After her talk she offers a question time.
One little boy puts up his hand.
The Senator asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth."
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions:
First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"
Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kids that they will continue after recess.
When they resume, Hillary says, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts his hand up.
Hillary point him out and asks him what his name is.
"Larry."
"And what is your question, Larry?"
"I have five questions:
First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?
Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
Fifth - what happened to Kenneth?"
http://hometown.aol.com/kainaatcreation/myhomepage/sports.html
After her talk she offers a question time.
One little boy puts up his hand.
The Senator asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth."
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions:
First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"
Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kids that they will continue after recess.
When they resume, Hillary says, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts his hand up.
Hillary point him out and asks him what his name is.
"Larry."
"And what is your question, Larry?"
"I have five questions:
First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?
Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
Fifth - what happened to Kenneth?"
http://hometown.aol.com/kainaatcreation/myhomepage/sports.html
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