Joke 196: Parental Gifts

After going to university, each of four sons left the house and started into their careers. The sons quickly became very successful business entrepreneurs and prospered well.

Before the holiday season, over lunch, the four sons discussed how well they had done and the gifts they were able to give back to their elderly parents this year who lived in another city far away.

The oldest son said "Had a huge house built for Dad with six washrooms and ten bedrooms."
The next son said "had a 100 thousand dollar multimedia theater installed in the house."
The third son said "My Audi dealer deliver an fully loaded Audi R8 to the house."
The youngest son explained "You know how Dad loved reading the Bible every night and now he can't, as he does not see well anymore. Well, met a preacher who had a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers and fifteen years to train this parrot.
I asked 'how much for this parrot" and preacher said "irreplacable ..no amount of money can replace this parrot" So I pledged $100,000 a year for twenty years to the preachers church to get this parrot .. it was a lot, but I feel it was worth it. Now, Dad just has to name the chapter and verse that he wants and the parrot will recite it word for word.

"Amazing Parrot" The brothers were impressed.

After the holidays, the Dad sent out his thank you notes.
You are my oldest favorite son John, the house is truly beautiful and is so huge. We only live in one room, but mom has to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway." Dad

"Tom, your gift was very thoughtful, but we are too old now to travel far. We both stay at home lately and have food and groceries delivered to the house. Unfortunately we never use the Audi. Your thoughts were kind. Thanks, Love Mom and Dad

Andy, That grand 40 person multimedia theater you had installed is awesome with the Dolby sound. Unfortunately, most of my friends are dead, my hearing is going fast and can barely see the screen as we are nearly blind. Too bad, we just can't use it. Thank you for the wonderful gesture just the same." Dad

"Dearest Sammy, you are our youngest son and we love you. This year you're the only son to have the common sense to give us a gift with a little thought behind it. "The chicken was delicious, Thank you, love Mom and Dad."

Part of the Dream Weave Walk 1999-2012

Joke 41: The Last Letter

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Sandy

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!