Joke 196: Parental Gifts

After going to university, each of four sons left the house and started into their careers. The sons quickly became very successful business entrepreneurs and prospered well.

Before the holiday season, over lunch, the four sons discussed how well they had done and the gifts they were able to give back to their elderly parents this year who lived in another city far away.

The oldest son said "Had a huge house built for Dad with six washrooms and ten bedrooms."
The next son said "had a 100 thousand dollar multimedia theater installed in the house."
The third son said "My Audi dealer deliver an fully loaded Audi R8 to the house."
The youngest son explained "You know how Dad loved reading the Bible every night and now he can't, as he does not see well anymore. Well, met a preacher who had a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers and fifteen years to train this parrot.
I asked 'how much for this parrot" and preacher said "irreplacable ..no amount of money can replace this parrot" So I pledged $100,000 a year for twenty years to the preachers church to get this parrot .. it was a lot, but I feel it was worth it. Now, Dad just has to name the chapter and verse that he wants and the parrot will recite it word for word.

"Amazing Parrot" The brothers were impressed.

After the holidays, the Dad sent out his thank you notes.
You are my oldest favorite son John, the house is truly beautiful and is so huge. We only live in one room, but mom has to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway." Dad

"Tom, your gift was very thoughtful, but we are too old now to travel far. We both stay at home lately and have food and groceries delivered to the house. Unfortunately we never use the Audi. Your thoughts were kind. Thanks, Love Mom and Dad

Andy, That grand 40 person multimedia theater you had installed is awesome with the Dolby sound. Unfortunately, most of my friends are dead, my hearing is going fast and can barely see the screen as we are nearly blind. Too bad, we just can't use it. Thank you for the wonderful gesture just the same." Dad

"Dearest Sammy, you are our youngest son and we love you. This year you're the only son to have the common sense to give us a gift with a little thought behind it. "The chicken was delicious, Thank you, love Mom and Dad."

Part of the Dream Weave Walk 1999-2012

Joke 66: Legal Firm

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs $500." "Why does the parrot cost so much?" asks the customer. The owner says "Well, the parrot knows how to do legal research."

The customer then asks about the next parrot, to be told that this one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to write a brief that will win any case.

Naturally, the increasingly startled customer asks about the third parrot, to be told that it costs $4,000. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can it do?"

To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner."

Part of the Dream Weave Walk 1999-2007

Joke 50: Jesus is Watching

A burglar breaks into a house in the ritzier area of town. He's sure that there's nobody home but he sneaks in, doesn't turn on any lights and heads for where he thinks the valuables are kept.

He hears a voice say, "I can see You! Jesus can see you, too!"
He freezes in his tracks! He doesn't move a muscle!

A couple of minutes go by. The voice repeats "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!"

He slowly takes out his flashlight, switches it on and looks around the room.
He sees a bird cage with a parrot in it. "Did you say that?"
The parrot says again, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!"
"Hah! So what?! You're just a parrot!" says the burglar.

"I may be just a parrot", replies the parrot. "But Jesus is a Doberman!"