Indian History : Supposedly written by a schoolboy
with all original spellings:
The original inhabitants of ancient India were called
Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and
Mujhe-na-Daro.
These cities had the best drain system in the world
and so there was no brain drain from them. Ancient
India was full of myths which have been handed down
from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A
collection of myths is called mythology, which means
stories with female caricatures.
One myth says that people in olden times worshipped
monkeys because they were our incestors.
In olden times there were two big families in India .
One was called the Pandava and the other was called
the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle
called Mahabharat, after which India came to be
known as MeraBharat Mahan.
In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave
Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty
death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their
capital from Delhi because of its pollution.
They were followed by the Mowglis. The greatest Mowgli
was Akbar because he
extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat
which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace
loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300
porcupines. Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons..
Family planning had not been invented at that time. He
also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now
sleeps there.
The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of
India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was
sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to
J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight
Shivaji. However,after that they changed its name to
Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not like it. They
also do not like New Delhi , so they are calling it
DoorDarshan.
After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an
exploder who was circumcising India with a 100 foot
clipper. Then came the British.
They brought with them many inventions such as
cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways. They were
followed by the French who brought in
French fries, pizzazz and laundry.. But Robert Clive
drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out
membered since the British had the queen on their
side.
Eventually, the British came to overrule India because
there was too much diversity in our unity. The British
overruled India for a long period.They were great
expotents and impotents. They started expoting
salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked
by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to produce his own salt.
This was called the Swedish moment. During this
moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the
street and refused to wear anything else. The British
became very angry at this and stopped the production
of Indian testiles.
In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon
after he became
the father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet
India moment, so named because the British were
quietly lootoing our country.
In 1947, India became free and its people became
freely loving. This increased our population. Its
government became a limited mockery,
which means people are allowed to take the law in
their own hands with the help of the police. Our
constipation is the best in the world because it says
that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime.
It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have
not paid your taxis.
Another important thing about our constipation is that
it can be changed. This is not possible with the
British constipation because it is not written on
paper. The Indian parlemint consists of two houses
which are called lower and higher. This is because one
Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided against
itself cannot withstand.
So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at
midnight since the British were afraid of the dark. At
midnight , on August 15, there was a tryst
in parlemint in which many participated by wearing
khaki and hosting the flag.
Recently in India , there
have been a large number of scams
and a plaque,it can be dangerous because many people
died of this plaque in Surat . Scams are all over
India . One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were
not given anything to eat by their elected
leader.. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small
town in Switzerland.In this, a lot of Indian money was
given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot.
Presently India has a coalishun government made up of
many parties, left,right and centre. It has started to
library the economy. This means that there is now no
need for a licence as the economy will be
driven by itself.
India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because
its own Tigers are being poached. Another important
event this year was the Shark meeting at Malas Dive.
At this place, shark leaders agreed to share
their poverty, pollution and population.
Part of the Dream Weave Walk 1999-2007