Joke 46: The pirate

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you
in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine".

Bartender: "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

Pirate: "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannonball, but I'm
fine now."

Bartender: "Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your

Pirate: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword
fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine really."

Bartender: "What about that eye patch?"

Pirate: "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked
up and one of them crapped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from
bird crap."

Pirate: "It was my first day with the hook."