Joke 6:Newton's Laws of Dieting

If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.

When drinking a diet coke while eating a kurkure/bhujia, the calories in the kurkure/bhujia are cancelled by the diet coke.

When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.

Foods used for medicinal purposes "never" count. e.g. Full cream curd, hot chocolate, brandy, toast, honey.

If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. e.g. Hot-dogs, Kesar-Milk, buttered popcorn, Bread Pakora.

Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking the cookie biscuit causes calorie leakage.

Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.

If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons have no calories. e.g. Amul butter on a knife, ice cream on a spoon, shreekhand on the cup lid.

Food of the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pista ice cream, Cauliflower and white chocolate. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other.